I Used to Think Christmas Was Fun.....

I used to think Christmas was fun....all the family time, presents, and Christmas music. As a child, Christmas consisted of dinner and presents with my uncle on Christmas Eve. Then I tried so hard to sleep so Santa would come. We'd wake up super early and Mama and Daddy would make us wait forever (or so it seemed) before we were able to all (my 2 sisters and me) walk down the stairs together to see what Santa brought. We would open our stockings and then go to the den to see what else Santa brought. We would spend all day playing and listening to Christmas music.

Then I became a teenager and Christmas was ok. Presents are always fun!

Then I got married and traditions changed- we had to do Josh's family's Christmas on Christmas Eve. Josh and I did our own little Christmas on Christmas morning and then off to my parents for the rest of the day.


AND THEN....Christmas became even MORE FUN! We started having babies! Addie's first Christmas was December 2009 and that is when the fun of Christmas really began for me. Now, we have 3 babies to enjoy Christmas with. It is so fun to see Christmas through their eyes.

This Christmas was especially fun. Christmas with Josh's family on Christmas Eve. The kids enjoyed opening and playing with their gifts. We went home and watched a Christmas movies and the kids begged to go to bed so Santa would come. We woke up at 7 on Christmas morning and 3 excited kiddos saw what Santa brought and opened presents from us. We then went to the traditional breakfast with my family and more presents and then just an afternoon of hanging out with family.

This Christmas was our 3rd first Christmas! Asa was so much fun! He loved the pretty paper and bows. He wanted to taste everything and enjoyed all the noisy toys.

One of my favorite memories of this Christmas was Christmas Eve when as a family of 5 we read the Christmas story from Luke. We talked about Jesus' birthday and then we sang songs and prayed together. It was so nice to worship the Lord together as a family and to know that my kids were learning that Christmas is about Jesus.

So, I used to think Christmas was fun but now it is even more fun!

Working Mama a.k.a Professional Juggler

That's what I feel like....a juggler! I spend so much time trying to keep my plates spinning and in the air.  Trying to find balance between family, church, work, and extra curriculars, is never ending! The past 2 weeks, I've really been struggling with this.

Last week, Addie had field day. I hated to ask for another day off but she was begging me to be there. My solution: half day work and half day field day. Tomorrow is Addie's student of the month lunch so once again I'll be splitting my day between work and my Addie.

I feel so torn....I need to be there for my kids. After all, they are only this age once! I'm also obligated to my employer and I feel so guilty to take time off. I even struggle when my kids are sick- should I call out or is there another solution? I feel like a bad mom if I choose work but feel like I'm letting so many people down if I don't choose work.

I'm sure I'm not alone. Many moms have jobs that are even less flexible than me. I'm blessed to have opportunities to do things with my kids. I'm blessed to have a job. God has given me everything I need. God has put me here for a reason. I will do my best to be there for my kids and be the best mom ever! I will also do my best to fulfill my responsibilities at work. Maybe one day, my circumstances will change and I'll be able to focus on my family more. But for now, I will strive to be the best, most involved, working mama I can be.

The Middle

I am the typical middle child....I have an older sister and a younger sister. I'll be the first one to tell you that I am the "forgotten child". I've always felt a little overlooked. I vowed that I would have an even number of children and avoid the middle child thing all together with my kids. With that being said, I now have 3 children.....which makes Asher my middle.

I totally understand now how the middle gets forgotten. In our house, our oldest is in to so much more- she is in kindergarten, she is in soccer, she is in choir and mission friends, she is old enough for play dates. My baby is still a baby and requires tons of attention. He has to be fed, changed, dressed, bathed, rocked, held, carried, soothed. And then, there is the middle. Yes, he needs attention too but rarely does he get one on one attention from me or my husband. He then acts out in ways to get attention- like having accidents in his pants or trying to do something to his baby brother.

Since I am a middle child, I try to be especially sensitive to my middle child. So, sometimes I let him get away with things so he can get a little more attention. For instance, the other night I came home late from choir and the kids were in bed. Asher was not asleep and heard me come in. He immediately runs to greet me at the door. I try to convince him to go to bed but he really wants to talk and be held....so, I give In. I let him help me do a little cleaning/picking up toys. I even gave him a piece of Candy and sat with him in his room for a while. I hugged him and kissed him and sang with him. I think he needed that one on one time with mommy.  And I needed it too!

I love all my babies but my heart goes out to my middle! I understand his place in our family more than I understand the 1st or 3rd. I want to make time for each of my kids so that they know they are loved, special, important. I think this is especially important with the middle. I don't want him to ever feel forgotten or overlooked.

Alone with my thoughts

Josh and I along with all three children are in the middle of our first vacation as a family of 5! So far, it has gone really well! We haven't done much more than hanging out at the beach and pool and doing a little shopping. We've spent a lot of time hanging out at our condo too. It's so nice to just be the five of us with no where we have to be and nothing that we have to do.

Surprisingly, I feel as though I've had a lot of time alone with my thoughts. These times come as Josh is playing in the waves with my two biggest and me and Asa are lounging in the shade of our umbrella (or now when the big kids are with daddy at the pool and we are snuggling on the couch). My thoughts have mostly wandered to how incredibly blessed I am! I love being a wife and mother and I'm so blessed to call my family mine.  Vacation is such a great time to be reminded of this as we are together and just enjoying each other.

One of my absolute favorite parts of vacationing with little ones is seeing it through their eyes. Seeing the excitement on the kids' faces when we finally get to the beach, watching them as they squish their toes in the sand, watching as the waves crash into their feet, watching as they work tirelessly to build the perfect castle or make us a sand pie/cake. Listening to their giggles....seeing their delight when they rush back up to tell me about the fish that they saw (and touched!) when they were in the ocean with daddy. My babies definitely make everything more fun! I love experiencing life through their sweet, innocent eyes.

And...this is the first time we've ever brought a baby this small to the beach! Asa is doing pretty good aside from the fact that he is teething. He has pretty much just gone with the flow. He has enjoyed watching his big brother and sister play in the sand, enjoyed watching the waves, and he's even had his first taste of sand. He wasn't a huge fan of the ocean water but putting his feet in the pool wasn't so bad :). He is even sitting up alone for a couple of minutes! He does not want to lay down when he can sit up and watch everybody play on the beach!

Oh how I love vacation! Oh how I love my family! It will be hard to go back to reality in a few days!!

Relaxing and Reconnecting

Relaxing and reconnecting.....the theme of this weekend!

Relaxing is something I don't do often enough. For some reason, I seem to thrive on busyness and tend to make myself busy even when there really isn't any need to be.  Recently in a women's Bible study that I'm involved in, we discovered that busyness can be a sin! (Something I'd never considered.) So this weekend, I was not busy.....I spent time enjoying my family. I took a few naps. I really relaxed and rested.


I also reconnected.....I feel like Josh and I are so busy during the week that we barely speak to each other. We have so many responsibilities and obligations between our kids, our jobs, our church, and our kids' extracurricular activities. I felt so disconnected and desired to just have a quiet evening and conversation with him. So, we hired a babysitter for our 3 sweet babies and went out. We got dressed up and went to a nice restaurant called "Grits". We did a little shopping and then went to Applebee's for a dessert. It was wonderful! It was just what we needed. We probably spent more money than we should have, but it was worth it. Another recent Bible study take away was that you must invest in your marriage. I'd like to commit more time in investing in my marriage. I can definitely tell when I'm not investing in it. I don't want to be strangers when our kids are grown and gone.  I love my husband and still love going on dates and spending time alone with him.


Overall, this has been one of the best weekends we've had in a while!

Big Breath

Friday has finally come.....I feel like a marathon runner (or the way I imagine they'd feel) after a long race. My weeks are like go, go, go, go, go. When Friday comes, I can finally take a big breath and can finally relax a little. I've finished this week's race.

To celebrate my victory (making it to Friday), I did something a little silly. Addie (age5) has been talking about having a birthday party for her baby doll. So I thought "why not?" I knew that she would LOVE it if we made a big deal out of this. I went to the store and picked up some party supplies and sent Josh for a cookie cake complete with "Happy Birthday Jackson". We invited her very best friend and her mom (my friend) over. We had pizza, sang "happy birthday", and ate cookie cake. The girls even made cards for her doll. It was so much fun!


Why did I do this?? I think I'm beginning to learn that it's the little things in life that mean the most. Making memories with my kids doesn't require a lot of money or planning. We don't have to go on elaborate outings or trips. They just enjoy spending time together. They enjoy when I make a big deal about something they love (like baby doll Jackson). And I needed to take a big breath....I needed to slow down....I needed to spend time with my kids.



Yes, it was a silly idea. It made her very happy though! We made a fun memory and some cute pictures. It was a nice, fun ending to a long, crazy, busy week.

Today....

Wednesdays are THE BUSIEST day of my week! It's such a relief when I've made it through Wednesday (hump day!). So, what did I do today? Here is a glimpse into my crazy, busy beautiful day...

4:30a.m.- alarm went off. I hit the snooze (just once!)
4:40a.m.- time to get up...brush my teeth and hair, throw on some workout clothes and tennis shoes, pump...this morning, Asher was awake for some unknown reason so this required me to spend a little time explaining why he can't go with me to the gym. Finally, he understands so I turn on Yo Gabba Gabba and leave
5:05a.m.- 5:35 a.m.- walk on the treadmill and talk with Tonya...this is my ME time!
5:45- I'm back home and getting my shower. I get myself ready
6:15am- feed Asa
6:30am- wake Addie up and get her dressed and ready for school
7:05am- get everyone packed up and out the door
7:10am- drop off the boys, give them kisses and give Ms. Bonnie a quick morning report
7:20am- stop by Leslie's to give her a shot
7:35am- arrive at Addie's school, stop in to see Mimi and then walk Addie to class
7:55am-8:20am- drive to work
8:30-11:50- work, work. Work
11:50- pump (Asa will need this milk tomorrow!)
12:05- think I'll go out to lunch today! Zaxbys it is :)
1pm-5pm- more working!
5pm-5:30- driving, call Josh and then Blaine
5:30pm- pick up Asa and rush home
5:45pm- church is taking care of dinner tonight!
6:15pm- usually I would go to Women of Purpose but tonight I go home to feed Asa and pump again
7:15-8:30pm- choir practice
8:30-9- I sit on the couch for a little bit
9- pump again, fix lunches, wash bottles, put on pajamas
10pm- devotional, write blog post

Think I should probably be heading to bed....will get up and have another busy day tomorrow! So glad the weekend will be here soon!!!

September Already??

His face says it all!! I cannot believe it is September. Addie has completed 4 weeks of Kindergarten, I've been back to work for 4 weeks, Asa is 16 weeks old (!), and Asher just turned 3. Since I've become a mom, I've become much more aware of how time flies! Seems like just yesterday I was dreaming of being a wife and mom and now I've been a wife for 7 years and I'm the mother of 3! It is super hard to balance being a working mom and enjoying every moment, every stage, every memory of your children/family. This is something that I need to do better at! I want to make more memories, to slow down more and enjoy the stage we are in (the busy, mother of 3 kids 5 and under stage).  This will mean saying no to some things and not getting too involved but it will be worth it!

This weekend has been a nice time to just slow down and enjoy my sweet family. It seems like we are always on the go. I've always been so busy that it is usually hard for me to not be busy. But this weekend we really took it easy. We've hung out with friends and just been lazy around the house. We've had picnics and played at the park. I've enjoyed seeing the kids smile, laugh, and play. I've enjoyed one on one snuggle time with each one this weekend (and that is hard to do!)

As the weekend comes to an end, I'm thinking about how much fun we've had. I'm realizing that if I'm going to make the most of every moment, I will have to be more intentional. I will have to make more of an effort. I will have to slow down. It's OK not to be busy all the time. My kids need me and I need them. We need snuggle time and play time and time with friends. Yes, I still have to work and they still have to go to school but we have evenings, weekends, holidays, and vacations. We will make the most of all of these!!

I love my family and the memories we've made! Since time is not going to slow down, it's up to me to slow down. I am determined to do a better job of slowing down and making the most of every moment. Bring on the memories!!

They Call Me "Mama"

My absolute favorite role is being a mom! God has entrusted Josh and I with 3 beautiful children. They are each unique and so much fun.....thought I'd share a little about them and what they mean to me.

Addison Grace, age 5

Addie is my quiet, reserved, hesitant girl. She is very smart but can also be super shy. Most of her life, I've considered her a bit of a tomboy- she loves playing outside and loves sports. Lately, she's developed more interest in princesses and baby dolls. Her newest adventure is kindergarten. She is doing great learning to read and write! She enjoys doing homework too (I will have to remind her of this one day!) she is a good big sister and has helped me a lot with Asa. She can be very dramatic at times (what girl isn't s drama Queen...right?) but she can also be very sweet and generous.



Asher Tillman, age 3

Where do I start? Asher is NOT shy at all! He loves to be the center of attention and make people laugh. If you acknowledge him, he will just keep trying to entertain you. He is such a happy, sweet boy. He is very compassionate. He is at a difficult age though so he can be emotional when he doesn't get his way. He is at the stage where he wants to be independent- feeding and dressing himself, picking out his clothes, picking what he will eat, and wanting to walk without holding hands. We choose our battles- so don't laugh when you see him wearing Elmo socks with his sandals! His newest adventures are being a big brother (he loves Asa most of the time) and soccer.




Asa Joseph, age 3and 1/2 months

We are still getting to know Asa.....but so far, he is such a sweet, happy baby! His smile lights up his sweet baby face. He is growing fast and he can now roll over and reach for toys. He loves to smile at his sissy and bubba. His newest adventure is daycare and he is doing great with that. They've gotten him on a good schedule.




I love watching these sweet babies grow and seeing life through their innocent eyes. They make my days brighter. I wish time would slow down but I know it won't. I will just try my hardest to make the most of all the moments we have. I am so blessed!

2014 Update

Wow! It's been a long time since I've blogged! A lot has changed in my life. The addition of a third child has made it more busy but also more fun! We now have a daughter and 2 sons! Addie started kindergarten 4 weeks ago and I went back to work after a 12 week maternity leave. Our days are now filled with work and school, homework, soccer practice, church, and just surviving the day.

I'm still working on my weight....I've been working out at the gym for five weeks (more for sanity than weight loss but that will be a great benefit).

I love my 3 babies but have felt a little (ok, a lot) overwhelmed with the addition of number 3. I wouldn't trade it for the world though! They make my crazy, busy days so much more beautiful!