Working Mama a.k.a Professional Juggler

That's what I feel like....a juggler! I spend so much time trying to keep my plates spinning and in the air.  Trying to find balance between family, church, work, and extra curriculars, is never ending! The past 2 weeks, I've really been struggling with this.

Last week, Addie had field day. I hated to ask for another day off but she was begging me to be there. My solution: half day work and half day field day. Tomorrow is Addie's student of the month lunch so once again I'll be splitting my day between work and my Addie.

I feel so torn....I need to be there for my kids. After all, they are only this age once! I'm also obligated to my employer and I feel so guilty to take time off. I even struggle when my kids are sick- should I call out or is there another solution? I feel like a bad mom if I choose work but feel like I'm letting so many people down if I don't choose work.

I'm sure I'm not alone. Many moms have jobs that are even less flexible than me. I'm blessed to have opportunities to do things with my kids. I'm blessed to have a job. God has given me everything I need. God has put me here for a reason. I will do my best to be there for my kids and be the best mom ever! I will also do my best to fulfill my responsibilities at work. Maybe one day, my circumstances will change and I'll be able to focus on my family more. But for now, I will strive to be the best, most involved, working mama I can be.

The Middle

I am the typical middle child....I have an older sister and a younger sister. I'll be the first one to tell you that I am the "forgotten child". I've always felt a little overlooked. I vowed that I would have an even number of children and avoid the middle child thing all together with my kids. With that being said, I now have 3 children.....which makes Asher my middle.

I totally understand now how the middle gets forgotten. In our house, our oldest is in to so much more- she is in kindergarten, she is in soccer, she is in choir and mission friends, she is old enough for play dates. My baby is still a baby and requires tons of attention. He has to be fed, changed, dressed, bathed, rocked, held, carried, soothed. And then, there is the middle. Yes, he needs attention too but rarely does he get one on one attention from me or my husband. He then acts out in ways to get attention- like having accidents in his pants or trying to do something to his baby brother.

Since I am a middle child, I try to be especially sensitive to my middle child. So, sometimes I let him get away with things so he can get a little more attention. For instance, the other night I came home late from choir and the kids were in bed. Asher was not asleep and heard me come in. He immediately runs to greet me at the door. I try to convince him to go to bed but he really wants to talk and be held....so, I give In. I let him help me do a little cleaning/picking up toys. I even gave him a piece of Candy and sat with him in his room for a while. I hugged him and kissed him and sang with him. I think he needed that one on one time with mommy.  And I needed it too!

I love all my babies but my heart goes out to my middle! I understand his place in our family more than I understand the 1st or 3rd. I want to make time for each of my kids so that they know they are loved, special, important. I think this is especially important with the middle. I don't want him to ever feel forgotten or overlooked.

Alone with my thoughts

Josh and I along with all three children are in the middle of our first vacation as a family of 5! So far, it has gone really well! We haven't done much more than hanging out at the beach and pool and doing a little shopping. We've spent a lot of time hanging out at our condo too. It's so nice to just be the five of us with no where we have to be and nothing that we have to do.

Surprisingly, I feel as though I've had a lot of time alone with my thoughts. These times come as Josh is playing in the waves with my two biggest and me and Asa are lounging in the shade of our umbrella (or now when the big kids are with daddy at the pool and we are snuggling on the couch). My thoughts have mostly wandered to how incredibly blessed I am! I love being a wife and mother and I'm so blessed to call my family mine.  Vacation is such a great time to be reminded of this as we are together and just enjoying each other.

One of my absolute favorite parts of vacationing with little ones is seeing it through their eyes. Seeing the excitement on the kids' faces when we finally get to the beach, watching them as they squish their toes in the sand, watching as the waves crash into their feet, watching as they work tirelessly to build the perfect castle or make us a sand pie/cake. Listening to their giggles....seeing their delight when they rush back up to tell me about the fish that they saw (and touched!) when they were in the ocean with daddy. My babies definitely make everything more fun! I love experiencing life through their sweet, innocent eyes.

And...this is the first time we've ever brought a baby this small to the beach! Asa is doing pretty good aside from the fact that he is teething. He has pretty much just gone with the flow. He has enjoyed watching his big brother and sister play in the sand, enjoyed watching the waves, and he's even had his first taste of sand. He wasn't a huge fan of the ocean water but putting his feet in the pool wasn't so bad :). He is even sitting up alone for a couple of minutes! He does not want to lay down when he can sit up and watch everybody play on the beach!

Oh how I love vacation! Oh how I love my family! It will be hard to go back to reality in a few days!!